Undeniable

It’s a wonderful festive feeling of knowing that the end of the year is coming,with a new year beckoning ahead.Being an optimistic romantic has its perks sometimes.A person like me dreams and envisions of those things that look and sound lovely.Am sure the upcoming year is gonna unfold splendidly for me…

Love took a backseat this year.I think.I was not overwhelmingly preoccupied with all things…Love. It was good in a way.As was highlighted,in a previous entry,there was a sense of closure in the month of June for myself.All the harboured hopes of yesteryears were rightfully ended and defined when that dearie soul just told me that she had found a companion.I realised something about myself.Inside that head of mine…there is always this prevailing hopeful realm of possibilities.Meaning that,if there was no tinge of concrete materials in place…everything else is still in that developing stage.I am just a bit patient with things that I deem significant for my Life.However,my warmest thoughts goes out to that dearie soul…as always.She made me see that side of myself…the good side.Under a different starry sky,things would have been picturesque. Heee…

I feel romantic this past few days…weeks…some friends mentioned,months. I do not know,how true the observations are,but yeah…I do feel a bit funny.A butterfly in the stomach kinda gut feeling.Heh.

There is so much that I really wanna do and explore,and I am having this niggling thought of not having enough time to do them.Can somebody tell me how I should go about accomplishing the small little things that really matter to me?If only I could experience that "Groundhog Day" theory.Waking up every single day,to that recurring single day.There are so many improvements I would wanna make to have each day even better than before.A hug here…a kiss there…a reminder…a look in the eye…anything that will make that loved one feel special.

There is this self theory I concluded about walking behind a loved one.I do not know why,but there is this sense of detachment when you walk behind someone.Walking in front…exudes an aura of competency and security.Walking beside…gives a sense of affection and closeness.Walking behind…generates this profound sense of longing and desire.I always feel like running from behind and hugging that loved one.That surge of wanting creates so much momentum in emotions.Of course this theory only works in my case.Hahahaha.I seriously feel that observations from behind,about a particular someone bodes a more profound definition.They are more likely to be in their natural state of self.People are self conscious sometimes.If observations are done through a frontal and side perspective,more likely than not,a bit of themselves are hidden.But if one is unaware that they are being observed from behind,they are in a much more natural kinda way.Believe me,I am not being perverted or lewd…hehe!

I have had to change some certain perspectives I had about the dynamics of relationships.Love relationships are tricky obviously.And I thought that all this while I knew what was needed to be known.Geee…how wrong I was.There is this thing called inner chemistry that can never be explained or rationalised except for the fact that,it exists purely,on the context of acting as a barometer of some sort.That is why,maybe some relationships are much more justified and tangible when the dynamics are dissected and assessed.Chemistry is the variable quotient that made or broke the whole dynamics.Like speed…it is either you have it or you do not.

What is chemistry?My definition is simply that,chemistry,is the crux of all progressive or non progressive reactions,arising out of a certain situation.Indefinitely,chemistry is the fulcrum upon which everything else a relationship component has,is leveraged on.The only way I judge chemistry is through moments when a decision making process is in motion.I cannot explain now…but I know that it is my factor in determining the chemistry.Wanna see chemistry in a full blown manifestation?Try planning a wedding…not that I have.I know that in my case,it will be.And God willing…for mine,the chemistry would be there.Heeee…

Due to some resstructuring home process…I should be out of my home by June with a rented place for my own.My mum is so with the idea of me moving out.Ahakz!Suits me fine.Ideal kinda platform for some planned things in mind.I know my mum loves me and she really wanna see me prove some family and friends doubters,wrong.The way I look at it…it gives me a little sense of independence.I think.I suppose that at the end of the day…I think I am not gonna be that kinda guy who brings a different girl home every night…which my mum keep perceiving.Wahahahaha.That devilish streak may be in me…but,that would be something I would stay away from…now that I am looking at things from a different angle.Logistically,how many spare keys would I need to give?Wahahahaha.All right…that is me being egoistical.I had decided when I was out on a window shopping spree with Randy the other day,that my homey is just gonna have a home theater,X box,tv,mini fridge,cable and internet access.I will be a contented man.Heeee.Having a girlfriend that will learn cooking with me will help…wahahaha!I wanna learn cooking..not for impressing sake,but for the independent factor.Besides,after spotting this side table for a bed at Ikea yesterday…cooking a meal for my wifey when she wakes up…is a splendid,cherishable idea worth executing.That is it!Perfect!

I suggested a report card system to be used in the context of a colleague’s relationship.They liked the whole idea of grading and reviewing each other’s performance as a partner,in an effort to make their relationship much more engaging and creatively fun.Just imagine my partner,having this review in my report card:-

"Hijazi performed excellently well in his Love Language subject this month.Although he tried hard,in his Keeping to Commitments subject,there is still much room for improvement.Overall,as a partner,he has assured me that he more than deserves the moments of passionate indulgence with me.Keep up the good work!"

Heeee…feels like I am in school all over again.

Westlife songs will be played in my wedding…by hook or crook or cranny…wait…I wanna sing it for my wifey!

"Miss you…"

"What makes a man…"

Hahahaha!

"It is only when you sleep…that I realise just how quiet I am without you.It is only when you are looking at me…that I realise just how complete it feels to love you." - Hijazi

ps: I am blind…but I have faith…in you…to guide me…in my moments of darkness…not because I need you…but because,we both need each other…in the worst and best of times…

Serendipity

n : accidental sagacity; the faculty of making fortunate discoveries of things you were not looking for

I am just done with watching the movie "Serendipity" starring John Cusack and Kate Beckingsale. I must say that being intrigued with the whole notion of the movie’s concept was gratifying.

For the past month I had been in a brain wrecking mode of trying to come up with a rather stupendous kinda name to be used as a private holiday term.The holiday thingy was my idea so I guess the bulk of the responsibility was of course mine.Being told to come up with a rather original yet defining name for a holiday,was kinda a grueling task.For sure there was no absolute way,I would have plucked out a lame word from the dictionary and tried to define it out in a rather dodgy manner. I wanted to test out my creative limits. Sadly…my brain juices were stretched out. I was lost…

By chance,someone mentioned the word "serendipity" in a casual conversation just the other day on my trip away. I forgot the context of how the word was used but what I remembered was having myself making a mental note to make an effort of checking up the meaning of the word when I come back. I was too proud to ask for the meaning of the word then. Heee.

So earlier in the day…as I was about to go to work,I bought a copy of the New Paper. As I flipped through the pages of the paper,my mind kinda drifted at the thought of having to come up with an ingenius name to a holiday. It was perplexing. As my eyes scanned,I came to the television program schedule page and found myself lingering on the night movie. I did not realise it then but I do now…that it was rather weird to note that I actually took notice of the movie’s title,which was aptly "Serendipity". I had never watch this movie ever before so it actually did not register into my mind in an impactful manner. I did told myself however that,it was the second time in a week,the word flashes in my mind. Yet I was still clueless about its definition.

I went to Ikea with Randy after my weekly office meeting. Was sharing with him my immediate dillema of trying to figure out a name. Randy was not much of a help…as I expected. Heeee…however it must be mentioned that the Ikea trip was a highlight. I love going to Ikea. I love the part of trying to visualise how my future homey with my wifey was gonna be like. A funny incident happened. Hmmmm…it was not funny actually. Disgraceful. Anyway,there was this particular moment when Randy and myself were in the bedroom section. As I was checking out the baby’s crib in the showroom set,a middle aged Chinese woman came up to me and just said…

"Excuse me ah…do you have a single bed set anywhere here?"

It probably took me 7 seconds to just grasp the words. I asked her what she was saying and she repeated the request yet again. Randy who was just behind her stared at me…blank faced. When he realised the whole significance of that moment,he cracked into that sneer of his. Me in the meanwhile just said…

"Sorry,but I am not working here…"

The lady must have been embarassed as she was apologising to me in a rather emphatic manner. Well,she should! What the hell? Was she blind? One darn thing for sure…NO IKEA STAFF WOULD HAVE DRESSED THE WAY I DID!Pants and shirt! I was in my office wear! Was she an idiot? Randy as usual could not help but laugh himself silly,seeing me in that bewildered state! You know why? That was the second time in the space of 5 days I was mistaken to be the staff of the place I was in. The first incident that I had was when I was at KL and had this guy requesting an order from me,whilst I was in a cafe. My travel mates were laughing their shits off. Things did not seem to change even in a Singapore context! How pathetic! Randy said I had this prominent "hospitable" face. Yeah right!? The only time I will be hospitable with these sorta incidents is only when I plant one hospitable punch on the faces of those who dare to equate me with any lines of occupation that I am totally not. Heeee. Yes I am grouchy on this…

Continuing on the lines of "serendipity"…

When I got home and logged myself on the Net,I knew I just had to try and see if there were any worthy words to be used for a holiday name. Inspirations were lacking. I came to this webbie where they actually generate a unique new name to any words that we try to come up with. It’s a word generator based on inferences. I did type the usual mundane words like success…hope…passion…love…etc. Nothing that came out seemed appealing. In an effort to be more inspired,I took out my dictionary. Whilst flipping through the "S" pages,the word "serendipity" appeared within my scope of vision yet again. It was on the left top corner of a page. When I looked through the definition just out of curiosity sake…I gasped in excitement! "Serendipity" was just the word that I needed. It described the whole dynamics of what things were…in my Life context. Putting down my dictionary,I immediately went to task and looked up the various related articles the Net could probabaly provide. It was during one of my Google searches that the webbie "Serendipity",the movie,came to my attention. What? A movie? It was then and there that I recalled that the same titled movie was being shown on TV as of that immediate moment. I was literally jumping with joyful glee. By the time I realised it,an hour of the movie was already gone. Plonking myself on the cushions I have at home…the movie unfolded in great fashion. I knew then…and affirmed myself that it was indeed the best word to be used. The rest as they say is…history.

I finally,knew that this was the exact word I need. Just one definition to rule all definitions. Heeee. It helps to note that the dynamics and definition of the word was just so defining and mystifying. I nailed the word…and I am a happier man by the moments. Waahahahahaha…

For those who have yet to see the movie…it is a great treat. A movie for those "first daters" kinda scope if you get what I mean. The kinda to rent out…ask your girlfriend over at your bachelor pad…and just indulge in.

My beliefs I had all these years are firmly affirmed. Nothing happens by chance. If Life had this great master design for us…serendipitous moments provide us with that dash of lovely humor to just sit and reflect on. You know those "Kodak moments" type of scenario where you tell yourself that,there must be a greater reason as to why I turned my head in this particular direction at this particular precise moment…particular location…particular time…particular date…etc. You get my drift? Waahahahahaha! I love it. It explains the unexplainable. Serendipity pave the way of destiny. That is my take…

But of course,not all are serendipitous moments. One will know it. Heeeee…

It is the coolest theory I have come across in recent years…

So Jazi…watcha gonna do now.

Nothing. I’ll let Serendipity have His say…

ps: Do you know that my Serendipity moments only occured when I am not planning for it. Hey wait a minute…that is Serendipity. As someone dear mentioned…"Life is what happens to you when you are busily doing other things." Think it applies here too…Love anyone?

Obsession (No Es Amor)

(Check check …this happened for real …baby bash..yo.. frankie j…. obession)

Its early in the morning
And my heart is really lonely
Just thinkin bout you baby
Got me twisted in the head
And I dont know how to take it
But its driving me so crazy
I dont know if its right
I’m tossin turning in my bed
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Weak…
I’m feeling hopeless in my home
I dont know what to do but I think I’m in love
Baby…

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Now I know you’re not my lady I’m just tryin to make this right
I dont know what to do I’m going out of my mind
So baby if u let me could I getchu to say maybe we could ride together
We could do this all nite now I dont care if u got a man
Baby I wish you’d understand
Cuz I kno he cant love u right, quite like I can
Its 5 oclock in the morning
And I still cant sleep
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me
Weak…
I’m feeling hopeless at home
I dont kno what to do but I think I’m in love

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong)
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

I love the way u freaky like that
I love the way u freaky like that
I love the way u freaky like that
Its an obsession

[Baby Bash]
Hold up let me dream
Shorty got me feelin less supreme
Where my candy, where my cream
Got your boy feel less supreme
Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent
Loving everything your representing
Got alot of money, I love to spend it
And thats whats up and I dont care what people scream
You’re my blessin when I’m stressin
My superfly beauty queen
I’m gonna keep it saucy
Cuz my money know how I do, we go rendez-vous, mi corazon belongs to you

[Chorus]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong) what am I do wrong [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
What am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong?) what am I do so wrong? [echo]
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Amor

_________________________________________________________________________

A calming assuredness overwhelms me as I reflect on the unpredictable nature of Life. To be hopeful and helpless. To be here and not there. To be crying out loud and laughing. I will not be quite like who I had been all the while. To steal a glimpse of how surreal realities can set itself in  one’s Life has been…rather mystifying. I am humbled…

Seating down in the comfort of my chair in my room…I sigh a heavy breath of helpless hope. I will give anything right now to be trajected back into my sanctuary of Aryani. Stepping back,it seemed illusional. Aryani provided that divine platform for me to be rejuvenated back with the essence of love…warmth…creativity…inspiration…and faith,I was so longing for.

After years of mental block…I finally managed to come up with a paragraph of lyrics. It meant so much to me as I scrambled back to my room,bursting with excitement of writing down my lines…after years of non successful attempts.God…and all I did was sit on the verandah of the beach house…closing my eyes…feeling the ocean waves blowing its breeze against the contours of my face…and words flowed through the coignitive veins like the cascading falling waters of a waterfall.

My nights there were filled with wondrous dreams. Without fail…as my eyes closed,I would be brought to the visionic landscape filled with…smiles….kisses…hugs…and so many other significant moments of bliss.

Aryani was like a place of calling. I fell in love. The villas…the rich heritage of sculptured rooms…the air…the rolling thunderous waves of the South China Sea…the seagulls…the moist and fine grains of beach sands sinking beneath the weight of my feet…everything was just beautiful.

Excerpts from Oct 05 2005 entry : -

"A person like me,who loves myself can adore someone like you,coz adoration is making "us" a bigger picture of things then just two silly individuals. I can desire you coz my desire comes out of my sense of wanting to share a cosmic completeness, which never demands for replenishing. But I can love you,in ways you cannot comprehend,coz my love is an affirmation of the growing,natural,subconscious feeling developing in me.If I don’t feel it,nobody else would…"- Hijazi

It will be a hard task to even equal or surpass such breathtaking experiences. That part of my subconsious mind will be forever replaying the wonders of breathing…living…sleeping…dreaming…waking…basking…and indulging in the lovely obsessions of whatever my Life was supposed to work out to.

It’s a pity I am not allowed to chronicle it in a fantastic chapter. Each experience would have been a book by itself for me. Now I realise…why the experiences of a lifetime lasts in a heartbeat. In God’s Law of Relativity…the moments between a heartbeat to the next…are the moments that decide Life or Death.

I saw myself again…

ps: Hopelessly and helplessly…falling.

The idiotic world of Malay-ish relationships had taken a new symbolic meaning over the course of the past few days.I am certainly not one who actually bothers to act on things I presume mundane,but I just have to say a piece of my thoughts here for the benefit of anyone who cares to ponder just how ridiculously political,the world of relationships can be sometimes.

As a woman,indulging yourself in the situation of making a decision between two absolutely unknown quantity typed man,is a very silly thing to do.Let’s name  my subject Naddie for the sake of anonymity.Naddie…young,pretty and colourful sorta lady.To be caught in a situation where you are at your wit’s end as to who you should be spending the rest of your life with…at the tender age of 22…is plain silly.It is just not logically feasible to be considering between a 23 year old shithead who just got himself a job and a 20 year old hopeless romantic,as serious lifetime partners.I am not being biased for the sake of being one…but I am being pragmatically philosophical about the issue.And for God’s sake…can anyone set up a council or organisation of some sort,that wields the power to put away parents who has this stupid idea of having their daughters married off in their early years of adulthood.Marriage then and marriage now is different,my dearest parents.Just because a guy brings home a pay packet of $1.5K home…has enough CPF funds to put forth a downpayment for a 4 room flat…goes out to work in a uniform…and dreams of getting a car…does not mean,he will be feeding the mouths of his wife and his kids for the next 20 years of his bloody lucky life.If I am a woman and the parents of a guy comes proposing to my parents with this cheesy line…"Now that my son has got himself a stable job,I believe he will be able to take care and feed your daughter…",I will personally see to it that they will leave the gates of my house with Kleenex tissues stuck to their nostrils.

Women…I implore you,to refine your thoughts about the kinda man you would wanna die with.Love itself does not feed your kids and yourself.I mean…we are not living in some vast land in South Africa where contention is not an imaginary word.We are rightfully living in Singapore.A country where people like my parents or our forefathers,struggle just to complete the loan payment of their "box" a.k.a HDB.Ahakz!Yes,life is optimistically fantastic here in Singapore.But it works only if we…to begin with…have that fantastic mindset.

I’ll bring you a point.Up in my company’s building,there is this huge board put up by the Boy’s Brigade of Singapore.On it is actually a list of requests made by the entitled beneficiaries,who needs things like stationaries,school bags,toys,walkman and etc,as part of their so called Christmas wishes.Now,let me state the appalling and rather pathetic nature of the whole thing. There were probably 45 names up there. Kid’s names. Now…30 of those were the names of Malay kids.How pathetic can that be?And the embarrasing thing was…all the donations were made out by Chinese agencies.How I appreciate the kind gestures of our neighbours.Me personally?Was disgusted.

My point here is this.The decisions you make now,will ultimately affect the whole gene code structure of an identity you might never even have come to realize.By perhaps choosing,your partner,out of a rash desire of non strategic emotions,you might have unwillingly put the future of your kids,as future candidates/beneficiaries for the Boy’s Brigade Christmas Wish Bonanza list.This is serious shit.

And guys…get a grip of reality.Marriage is not supposed to be your coping stance for your own insecurity.If for every time you put forth the idea of engagement or marriage as a bind to not lose that woman in your life,the Malay community will be living off on the graciousness of your sentiments.Geeeeee.You wanna get married?Why not?Just make sure,that the whole idea of a marriage is not to make you a more complete man.Marriage was designed to complete all those things,you could not deal with yourself,in the first place.I pity the next idiot who loves the notion of a wedding…but loathes the idea of the marriage.No suprise as to why,Malays being an insignificant quantified community,contributes a large part to a significant quantity of social dillemma.Yeah there are improvements.It’s just the one step forward,two steps backwards in motion.

Am I whining?No.Highlighting.

Is there anything you can do about this,Jaz?

No and Yes.

No,I cannot help the community as a whole…

But yes…I can help myself and those I hold dear…to not fall into that social dillemma…

Maybe…insya Allah.

ps:Marriage is not about the amount of dowry…the extravagance of the wedding ambience or the honeymoon package one plans for.It is,but a few of the many aspects.Marriage is a lifetime responsibility…to yourself,your spouse,your kids,your family,community and society.Love does not feed the mouths of your kids.It’s about time something is done…

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I’m so thankful
I found you
- Thank God I Found You

_______________________________________________________

I am so humbled in the face of all things LOVE.

Ingredients to make a perfect day:

• Rainy weather
• No umbrellas
• Hot Tea
• Hot Food
• A walk to remember
• Clorets
• Mentos Chewies
• Sampoerna
• MacDonalds
• Bunned hair with chopsticks
• Toilets
• Breezes
• Rolling waves
• Nonsensical convy
• Eyes
• Smiles
• No watches
• Late night suppers
• Doorsteps
• …Nicest things in Life come in the simplest ways

The reason why I love lists…is because most of the time,it serves as a stimulant to the wild imagination of people.I have imaginative and loving people in my Life.Let them draw their own conclusions.~winks~

My last few blog entries had been rightfully described as self indulgent.Too full of myself.To a certain extent…maybe you are right.My rather compulsive obsessive disorder of trying to be full of myself is detrimental sometimes.I learned something about simple humility yesterday.In a small big way…thank you.There has been too many,dear souls,who had been telling me that I am perhaps losing a bit of that humility.The conclusive note to that observation was nailed yesterday.Yes…I have not lost that part of myself.Still there.Just hidden amidst the temporary success in Life.

Mental note: Earn the Trust Hijazi.No one ever has that privilige.Work at it.

I am trying to play the melodies in Life in the best way possible.I am not confessing that I am a great intrumentalist,but I am trying.Gimme time,and I’ll play a beautiful song just for you.

Notes from November:

• read dis…Love-o-scope…aaah true luv comes at last.Be patient n u’ll get all e affectn n action u need from 1 impressive guy!Leadg ur frens into spontaneous craziness will bring hot result.
• 1 thing abt seth is dat he hasnt got any ego balloon waitg to b burst.Dat’s Jaz’s flaw.Reality sucks.Deal with it man.

~laughs~One always needs a stabilizer.

~Thank you for the Touch Rugby jersey.Wore it to sleep.Cool and comfy.~

Can I dance?

I realised a sudden affection for taxi drivers.I’ll relate the chilly tales soon…

ps: Felt like I was in a bubble…oblivious to the surroundings.

I would give you everything
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do
To ensure your happiness
I’ll cherish every part of you
Because without you beside me I can’t survive
I don’t wanna try
If you’re keeping me warm each and every night
I’ll be all right
Cause I need you in my life
- Thank God I Found You (Mariah Carey feat Joe and 98 Degrees)

_________________________________________________________________

It has been a good week to say the least.Well,any week that has a soccer session in it,is a fantastic week in my books.~winks~Geee…I pity the peepz in my Life who will now have to contend themselves with havin to vie for my precious Time.

This week can be aptly summed up by two names.

• Nadia
• Nur Wahidah

These two newfound buddies of mine have been a treat. Chirpy…cool…pretty…oozing with inner charisma…delectable and ever sweet.Their only flaw?They are both just single.Yups…single.And I found it rather strange.How did these two peepz come into existence?Well,just the other 3 weeks ago,I think,my brudder Kai and myself were having a late night supper session at Bukit Timah’s Al Ameen,when suddenly two chicks rode on cool looking bikes beside us.

As these two girls were walking past by us,I just had this irritating urge to just do something.Instinctively,I took out a piece of paper and with my pen in hand,I stared into blank space and wondered what kinda note could be left,on the girls’ bikes.My brudder came up with a moment of rare brilliance by suggesting a summon notice kinda format.How brilliant!With my rather flawless literary genius awakened,I wrote the following…(if I remembered)

You are hereby summoned and fined for illegally parking your attractions on our carparks of attention. For further clarification notices and  appeals on your fine please call,

Jaz ********

Kai ********

Warmest regards,

LTA Officers

Now,when this note was written,I could have sworn that I was pissed drunk from all the ‘teh tarik’ I had.My brudder and I had done some silly things in our lives before,but this gesture capped it off.We proceeded to place two ’summon notices’ on the cool bikes of theirs and we proceeded home,without any thoughts whatsoever.It was the longest shot or attempt at being creative in making an introduction.But guess,our efforts were not in vain as we both got ensuing replies from these two blokes two days after the incident.We were just pleasantly suprised,non exhilarated.Heeee.Seemed like they were truly impressed with our unique approach,coupled with the excellent literary lingo and beautifully written note of mine…wahahahahaha.And so…two new pals are found.

Wahidah is a 20 year old girl.She rides a KR typed bike.Gentle…warm…quiet…composed…and just so demure.Best buddy of Nadia.The cynical about men kinda thinking.~heeeee~There seems to be many of this breed nowadays.She is accomodating to the fact that guys tend to be more attracted to Nadia and apparently she has been playing,counsellor buddy to lotsa guys who were smitten by Nadia.Nice girl.Rarity.

Nadia is a 22 year old chick.My kinda ‘fantasy teenage sweetheart’ sorta girl.(My brudder Kai is gonna strangle me for saying this)Gorgeous…twinkle eyed…slender,athletic built…plays soccer(this fact alone qualifies her as wife material…wahahahahahahahahaah)…streaked,long dyed hair(fact 2)…she irritates me(fact 3)…exquisite and just so…hmmmmmm…desirable.(Kai is gritting his teeth there)Oh yeah…did I mention that she supports Man United?Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh!

Lucky thing…Hijazi Version 2.5 is no longer the ’superficial seeking maniac’.Wahahahahaaaaa.Geeee…the calmness and serenity of not even childishly thinking that a marriage is in the books,had been overwhelming.I am just so self contented with knowing two more friends.Cannot say that much for a certain guy who is probably going *gugu gaga* over Nadia.Heeeeee.’Possesive siak Kai’.(No mentioning of names please)Cool peepz to be around with.Did I mention that both these girls have sisters that are of the same age as me?Awwwwwwwww…I can hear the wailing already.Why am I not complaining?Heeeeeee.

But in all seriousness…friendships are so cool.To my brudder…"You go girl…I mean bro.Wahahahahaha.I swear to God,that you better not screw this opportunity.Heeeee.Nadia,is the GIRL…we used to dream about having as a partner.Go for it,for the fun sake.Nothing ventured,nothing gained.(Shit!Did I just say that?)Do not worry about me.I am willing to let you go….Wahahahahahahaha."

Nadia and Wahidah left for KL yesternight.Heeeeee…

I need an image consultant or a publicity campaigner man!Somehow…these two girls have this perception that I am a sweet talking flirt.I am so bloody not.*chokes*I am just a sincere,lame and uninteresting guy…who happened to be just a bit intelligent,crappy,creative,eloquent and nice.Geee…do not blame these God given talents man.~Summer’s gonna kill me for this egoistical bullshits~Let me set the records straight…I am not a sweet talking flirt.I am just a pleasing conversationalist specialist.Heeeeee.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.So LoNeLy.(a ringing tone?)+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.

Enough about girls.I am sick of them.

Football is here again.27th November…the new season begins.Yuuuuuhooooooo!

My first pre-season session at Telok Blangah two days ago was delightful.I scored two goals…shit!I knew I was good.That good?Orgasmic!Just for credit sake,someone did beat me with a dribble.It was a lame attempt on my part to try and tackle the ball away from him.Should have just gone for the wobbly knees of his.~laughs~

Am still wrecking my brain to come up with a unique holiday name…aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Is it just me…or am I feeling the tingle of being fuzzily romantic nowadays?

I have been having this imsonia addiction habit prevailing in my Life recently.Becoming a vampire of some sort.Sleeps at 5 am.Wakes up at 1 pm.Must be the withdrawal symptoms kicking in…

I am in love.With Rihana.You go figure out who she is.Anyone…and I really mean anyone…who can dance like her,is worth my Life’s savings(not much)…heeeeeeeee.

Do you guys know that I am officially the only Seth Cohens profile on this goddamn Friendster.Wahahahahaha.Geeeee….

And I did not know that,Singapore actually has many pretty looking Malay girls.Gosh.Not that I am bothered.Just statistically suprised.Was about to give up hope and look for a Swedish.Another statistic suprise.Go to a Macdonalds outlet which has delivery riders.Check the roster.I am betting the 20 bucks in my wallet now that for every 10 man crew of delivery riders,7 are Malays.I am not saying anything.Just sit on this statistic…

I want my bachelor pad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pool table+++++++++++++Lava Lamps+++++++++++++++++Home Theatre+++++++++++Sofa++++++++++++++++++Parties++++++++++++++++++++Comfy King Size Bed With Pink Comforters++++++++++++++++++++Cable TV+++++++++++++++++++++++Friends+++++++++++++++++++++++++++Food++++++++

Singapore Idol’s Auditions next February.

I am gonna be the next Singapore Idol…hopeful.Wahahahahaha!

10 reasons why I will be the next Singapore Idol.

1. I am not a Malay.They cannot afford to have 2 consecutive Malay Idol winners.It’s not Malaysian Idol,dammit.
2. I have the backing force of 3000 AIA agents to send in their votes via smses.Not only am I gonna be the first  financial consultant to ever win Singapore Idol,I will also win it by the largest margins ever recorded.Agents are rich blokes.2 million smses for me are not a problem.
3. I am gonna sing boyband songs and bring back the heydays of Take That,Boyzone,Backstreet Boys,Caught In the Act,PJ and Duncan and a lot more others.
4. I am not gonna try and be Usher like.Usher is extinct.Cinemas do not need them anymore.
5. I am gonna ask Douglas O to coach me on vocals.Do not worry.I can afford to pay him by the minute.
6. I will not create a controversy by stating that one of the judges tried to sleep with me.The closest controversy will be about me and Taufik,kinda looking alike.
7. I will not be dumb enough to sing any of Taufik’s songs during the auditions.
8. I will cry on live TV.Ratings sake.
9. I will not be declaring that I love my Mom and the win is dedicated to her.She probably would think I am just a fake.She knows I love her.
10. The only reason why Taufik won last year,was because they booted me out even before the auditions.They were worried that Gurmit would not be able to pronounce my name properly.Taufik was a simpler name.

I have 761 more reasons why I would win next year’s Idols.Somehow…my publicist says to keep those reasons for future Idol competition campaigns,just in case I flunk next year’s.

ps:Nadia is gonna draw a placard and design a poster for me,whilst Wahidah will be printing T-shirts to be given to my unwilling fans.Anyone who has the right sense of mind are welcomed to join my publicity campaign.It is strictly voluntary.No budget allocation for the meantime.Once I win that Idol…I am going Malaysia.Siti…Misha…Hetty are all waiting.Geeeeeeeeeee.

By any standards,yesternight was just pure enlightening.Geeee…learned a few much needed things about some stupid things I am so capable of doing at times.Okie…at least I am making the decision and commitment to not be a super egomaniacal woose.there are no futher need for me to even try and prove a point,or be validated for the things I say or do.Being myself is the simplest way of interpersonal relating.Feels like a whole load of dysfunctionality had been lifted.

Once again I reiterate the importance of having an open and receptive communication within the context of any relationship.That is why I appreciate any bickering or disagreement being brought out into the light.I totally am in tandem with the views held by Summer,about the need to discuss and be rid of any wasteful grudges.

With the clarity of conscience,I just wanna apologise to Summer.Your points were noted and understood.Those crass remarks…will never be thought off again.

I spent a good half of my night yesterday,listening to Anthony Robbin’s audio cassette cd.You know those kinda self help development programs.Heeee.It was just me,my thoughts and my plans.I literally did all the prescribed exercises in the program. Was told to write down all my goals. Here is the list of my goals…not by any order of priorities.

Personal Development Goals

• Manager by 2008
• Bachelor pad @ East Coast
• Married to a gorgeous woman
• Bungee jumped
• Mazda RX8
• Volunteer more
• Meeting Erin
• Having a great team of consultants with me
• Providing for Mom and Bro
• Proposing in Italy
• Speaking at a seminar
• Being a motivational speaker
• Attending seminars
• Being a professional consultant
• Having more friends
• Organise great monthly parties
• Having more free time
• Visit Maldives
• Buying an island
• Toning my body
• Reading 2 books a month
• Joining a singing competition
• Start writing and illustrating my book
• Visit Egypt
• Visit Australia
• Visit New Zealand
• Earn 10k monthly
• Organise a great breaking fast session in Ramadhan
• Shake hands with the rich and famous in Singapore
• Be the no 1 manager in Tampines
• Be a motivator
• Get that cottage in a foreign country
• Be at Eiffel Tower
• Playing soccer competitively
• Married with kids before 30
• To be more…
• Honest
• Creative
• Fun
• Professional
• Attentive
• Matured
• Zealous

My Fingles (Goals that are just a mixture)

• Mazda MX5
• Private apartment at East Coast
• Birthday bash at Bar None
• Quaterly bachelor parties
• Home theather
• Travelling around the world
• Compile and record my own songs
• Beach house
• Island
• Cottage in New Zealand
• Anthony Robbins seminar
• New executive suits
• Maid
• Driver
• Paying for 2 personal assistant

Economic goals

• Earning a minimum monthly income of 7k a month
• Regular savings of 1.5k a month
• Investments of 1k a month
• Provision of 1.5k a month for family
• 30k for my wedding
• 10k for my honeymoon
• Being a half millionaire in asset worth by 28 years old
• Being a millionaire by 30 years old

Now having said all these,of course on a rough gauge…not all could be feasibly achievable in the immediate period of time of maybe 5 years time.But these goals serve as a direct map representation about how I should strategise my way through Life.Like a golf game…not all shots to the hole can be done by two or three strokes.I guess,most of the things listed here will be accomplished.Just needs time.

Just had a chat with my "Nenek Sayang".She is an old lady who lives on the 6th floor of my flat.A very caring and warm lady.Spent 20 minutes listening to her stories.I have this small hope that in some part of my Life,I can just go to all these old folks’ home in Singapore.I am sure there are some beautiful golden age stories waiting to be told.Advices that I received…

• When I get married,be the best husband and son in law
• Make sure both the respective set of parents are being taken care of
• Marriage is not a mean of escaping from the responsibilities of being a son or daughter.Need to inculcate that in my wife
• Be a father that is attentive to the child’s needs
• Be the guide not the guided
• In death,the number of attendees is reflective of the deeds you shared during your Lifetime

Was a welcoming change for a morning.As I listened to her…I had this natural feeling of wanting to be present at this old lady’s moments of death.Do not know why.The inclinations are forebodingly there.

Am listening to Eamon’s "Fuck It,I dont want you back".I have this urge of singing it to someone.No one comes to mind.But just someone.Hahahaha.Anyone will do.

I am declaring a selfmade holiday soon.Am in the midst of wrecking my thoughts and brain juices to come up with a name for it.Something significantly symbolic and meaningful.How cool it is…

"It’s you
Why’s it always you
and never me?
I’ve never dared to let
my feelings free
Why’s it always you
and never me?
I’ve never cared
too much about honesty"
-Chorus from Trouble Sleeping by The Perishers OST OC

Been hearing this beautiful song for the past weeks.

Found an endearing friend in Idah.Cool and heartwarming lady…aaaah…perhaps there is indeed hope for the young womenfolk.It is nice to know that,there is at least someone willing to think about how her Life should shape out to be!Take your time in finding that knight in white,shining armour babe!You deserve it!Ahakz!

Two weeks more to another great financial working year.With my brudder Kai on board,it should be splendidly fantastic.Gonna burn the bridges and work hard towards achieving my dreams.Anyone with a fantastic group of people in mind,do share with me yah…I need them in my team.Gimme one year to work with them…follow the system of organised fun and commitment…I promise,it will be one hell of a rocking year.What is the risk?The risk is big.~Heeeee~People with visions…please…do yourself a favour,have a paradigm shift.Not everyone has a Summer to do that for them…~heeeeee~

ps:Summer is increasingly having a certain positive influence on me.Not that I am complaining.~Heeeee~Being Seth…hahahahaha…geekiness rules.Perhaps it is true…I can be confident about myself.There is no need to be egoistical about it.To all those screwed up men and women folks out there…I quit!I have no other points to prove to you guys.No futher agendas.If you choose to have those screwed up belief systems…I guess you can never go wrong…or right for the matter.It’s always better to be with a belief system than not to have one.I am as of this moment deciding that I am no longer waging a mental war with the idiosyncrasies of changing a conformists’s belief. Let them live and let die. Gosh.

Soccer is back this Friday.My Life is back.Thank God!

People…I love you guys.Awwwwwwwwwwwww………………..

There is this undeniable pain inside which I will just try and suppress for the moment as thinking about it will not render me anything beneficial.

Note: Eddie Guererro passed away on Sunday.My epitapth for him will read.

"Here lies a man who in lying,cheating and stealing…stole and captured the hearts of millions.He was the ever consumate entertainer,who believed in dedication and commitment as principles of success.For all the perceived ethical flaws he has…he has the biggest heart for those he holds dear."

So confused. Wish I knew just what to do.

Went to Bar None on Sunday night.I needed the chill out time by myself.Went alone.Cool atmosphere.Not a lot of peepz there.Isa,the bartender came over and asked if I wanted another "Pussyfoot".~smiles~That guy bleached his hair.Eeeeuuuurrrgggghhhhh.I think I am gonna bleach my hair too.Next month on my trip to Krabi.

My regular peepz started to come in at around 0030 am.By the time,the music was already grooving and jazzing up nicely and perfectly.Den Osman’s groupie…Ariel and friend…Agus and Nur all came.Nur seemed excited and thrilled to see me there.As soon as the deejeay music began,everyone was pacing in synchronisation.R&B cum Reggae night.

I was just immersed in my own thoughts that night.Totally oblivious to the surroundings.

Ariel came over and whispered,"What the hell is wrong with you tonight?Someone wants you to dance with her and you are not even noticing her advances."

"Who?"I asked.

Ariel indicated to my right.I nodded and it was just my typical acknowledgement.It was Nur.She had been dancing in front of me for the past 20 minutes or so whilst I was sitting.Never quite found it endearing.~hah~

I did have my prancing moment with the guys on the dance floor.Guys…always the joy.It’s just cool that the company of guys I have there are those kinda who has no sick intention of picking up girls for no heck or reason.Besides,the girls there…particularly,the Malays,probably has this sick notion about probably needing local guys to go down on the tummy,to make an impression.Throw in a non local guy,and these girls drop to their knees like a jellybean.Kodak moment was having this Eurasian sweetie dancing with me to the song of "Baby Boy" by Beyonce.It was just fun and innocent.Her boyfriend was just smiling and dancing beside us…with a local.Hahaha.That is what I call,a foreign exchange session.

Sickening moment : Complimented this Malay babe about how nice she smelled.A mutual friend. She turned and said,"Is that a pick up line?" What the f**k? I told her.."Well,I guess the guys who had been trying to pick you up all these while must have been lacking in imagination,coz you seriously have a problem between appreciating and distingushing a compliment and a pick up line.I don’t blame you.But that question…is a turn off."I laughed loudly and just moved.

I never quite knew what a pick up line is.There is always a better creative way…to do things.I am not worried.I have testimonies from friends who appreciated my gestures of trying to initiate a conversation or friendship.It was never cheesy.Just sincere and simple.

Me and Agus headed to McDonald for a late supper.He was telling me about his current beau.A 22 year old guy from Australia.Agus is a…you know what…kinda guy.Listened emphatically.He made my night when he told me just how much he appreciated my friendship eventhough our initial introduction was merely on a client-consultant basis.He told me that he trusted me so much.Cool.

Got home.Blasted "Can’t breathe easy" and lulled myself to sleep.My mind was still wandering…

________________________________________________________________________

I never was afraid of rejections.Coz,rejections are always the by product of a request.Logic goes…no expectations,no rejections.

Sometimes there are those who takes the normality in Life for granted.I am one of those cynical few who always have this fear of loss.In any particularity,loss of someone.People look at me and assume in their most righteous voice,that I am a prickhead who is always inflating that Self Ego.How I wish,they can just see those little quiet moments when I take out my armour at the end of a day,slumps myself against the wall,and reflects on the day that passed.How normal.How vulnerable.My Ego is my armour of Self Preservation.

To be told that my Ego is a flaw is enlightening in a way.Perhaps there are truths in that statement.But how about those times when I just chuck that Ego aside?Why am I being remembered and typified by my flaw?How come deflating an Ego no longer seems to be a gentle reminder,but more as an agenda driven cause?Ego has helped me deal with the adversities…I am not defending the need to be egoistical.I am acknowledging its presence.

Reality check.A man gets his heart broken…with the departure or loss of a dear one to someone else,what does he do?He chucks that Ego…he wails…he cries…he sobs…he is left for the dead.Then,it strucked him instinctively,that he still needs to live and face the world.He fortifies his armour,dons it and heads out again.

Women.Do not criticize the Man who dons his armour.You must realize that he probably has one hell of a good reason to do that.If you love him,be the woman who coaxes him into taking that off for you,at the end of the day.Try not to question,why that armour is needed,or why you should be wearing one too.The thing is,I have faith in men.I,or men themselves will,out of their own accord,take the armour off for the woman of his Life.A man who dons that armour of ego probably does that,to ward off things like…office politics…bitchy women…insults…criticisms…negative vibes…and lotsa others.I implore you women folk…take that armour off that guy,piece by piece.Coz,believe me…when he is in full naked view of vulnerability,he is yours for the rest of your Life.

And women…realize one thing.You will never see a Man’s scars until that armour is taken off.Well,you may ask his fellow comrades…but I do not think you women folk bother.

ps: He who loves you the most,is probably the one who says the weirdest things,acts the weirdest way,thinks the weirdest thoughts.Coz,he is mystified and awed by the beauty of you as a Woman.Do not treat him,the way you think you should,to the guys who came before him.Coz,the fact is…he probably have this starry hope that you are the first and last in his Life.Of course…he probably needs you so much.

Note to myself:I have nothing else to prove to anyone.If it’s loving that you want…take a walk with me.

I totally forgot that my name is Hijazi.A financial consultant who was on track on ending his financial year on a high note.Someone who is on track towards promotion.Someone who totally forgot that he could feel…

Anyway,the day went great.Started on a splendid note and ended in fantastic fashion.

I went for my weekly meeting.Had not been to office for the past two weeks.Kinda felt weird,to be stepping back into office and seeing my table yet again.~ahakz~Was totally disinterested in the whole issues and mundane propagandas discussed.(I came late on purpose anyway)

My heart was beaming with pride.Reason being…my pics were plastered all over the elevator doors,of the building.Yeah…all 3 levels,if I must say.It was for my School of Achievers achievements.~wahahahaha~It was cool,seeing my smiling,cocky face all over.~hahahaha~The best part was having fellow unit managers calling me by,"Hey champ…".Says a lot man!Guess,I have a standard to uphold next year.

Had a small pep talk with my manager’s hubby.He was enquiring me about why,I seemed uninterested and unmotivated suddenly.Told him about the dilemma and predicament I was facing with regards to certain aspects of the whole career scope.What he shared with me was enlightening.That was when I realised just how much,my goals and aspirations were forgotten.I was distracted.Damn!I had allowed my heart to rule a brief moment of my Life yet again.He told me to focus and solely strive on becoming what was set out for me…my goddamn promotion!How can I forget!Shit!The gist of the discussion could be summarised in this…

• Remember,that I am the only one earmarked for promotion.
• I have the capability to carry the mantle.
• I must not be sensitively be affected by external events.Advice of the day:When you think about something too much…go to a pub,get yourself pissed drunk…and live the next day on a fresh note.
• I have a way of ‘manipulating’(the term was used literally)people.Use that trait.
• It is all about my ability.
• All I need to do,is slog off myself for a year more…and everything will work out!

Geeee…that was the driving drive that I so craved for.Somehow,I had allowed myself to be distracted.

Had tea with my colleague Huzaifah after that.Somehow,another realisation set itself again.I am so much enjoying the presence of guys.Not that I am being gay-ish.It is true however.Being around guys has been therapeutic.

Esplanade was my ensuing destination,as I had planned to meet my brudder Kai and his colleague Feezah.But before that,I just have to relate two funny instances of what a surge in confidence can do to a man like me.Whilst in the train,heading towards City Hall,I was seated directly opposite this group of two girls and a guy.Whilst one of the girls,was busily engaged in a conversation with the guy,I took the liberty to just steal glances at the other passive girl.There was no intention of even trying to flirt,as I was busily reading.The interesting thing was that she was ‘reciprocating’ my glances.Anyway,I just took one brief moment to look at her,and when she did look lingeringly,at me,I just dished out a smile.Gosh.She beamed a smile at me back,and I knew at that instant,it was nailed.I continued reading and as the train was stopping at my intended stop,I got up from my seat,went over and to her,and her friends’s bewilderment,I extended my hand,which she took and I said,

"Hi.My name is Hijazi…and you are…?"

"Lina…"

"Nice to meet you,Lina…"

I smiled,and walked out of the opening door.

That felt damn good!As I was walking past the moving train,I could not help but notice that glancing,smiling head of hers,through the window panels.

Hijazi: 1                         Women: 1

Was feeling so good…I hummed to myself.~wahahahaha~After I exited the control station,I took the turn towards the CityLink.Just two metres from me,a Malay girl dressed in Shisheido promoter’s attire,walked.I took the liberty to give a small smile,which suprisingly she,returned.As we walked past each other,a miracle happened.She must have slipped on a wet surface,as the thing that I knew was,she,grabbing and pulling on my shoulders,as she was about to fall.Luckily,I managed to block her fall and helped her up.Her face was flushed with embarassment.I gave a small chuckle.

"Eeeeiii.Paiseh seh.Thank you so much,"she said as she brushed herself.

As though on cue,we both smiled and just turned towards the direction we were heading to and continued walking.

Hijazi : 2                Women : 2

The thing that strucked me about both encounters,was the sheer fact that I just connected totally out of goodwill and non expected realizations.I did not get anything substansially concrete from both experiences,and by that phone numbers~wahahahaha~,but it felt so good.It served to build a set of confidence,which was totally majestic.Feeling good…intiating good thoughts,which in turn resulted in good results.For a moment,I applied myself.

Esplanade was serene.(I am still in that lingering mode of asking how I could not have seen Summer on that particular day…not that it matters…just curious,what God had in mind when He did that).

Met Feezah…and I took the opportunity to grind her with my rather obnoxious,typical,stereotyped and provoking questions.As much as I would hate to say this…in Feezah,I found the ideal subject,in affirming my thoughts about women sometimes.

You know…there is this breed of Women,who typically think that they have had their Life and its issues,all figured out.Usually,it arises from their perceived realisation that,since they are out of a bad relationship of some sort,what else can go wrong?I mean…they would have assumed that they have seen it all and done it all,and there is no amount of effort a guy can dish out,that they would never have come to expect.And so they go around,in a pompous manner,declaring just how guys ought to be falling like a bunch of flies at their feet.How guys are typically so in need of their constant approval and affections.And in a direct confrontational manner,they issue ludicrous statements or questions,like…"You know why I am not dating you?"

Geeeee….

These were the questions and answers,discussed.Nothing was changed.

Jaz : Correct me if I am wrong,but am I safe to assume that you,at this very moment,am not sure of what you want.I mean,what you want in a guy?

FZ : No.Of course I do know what I want in them.

Jaz : Why are you then subjecting yourself to being surrounded by a lot of guys,and finding yourself in the hassle of validating them?

FZ : Hey,do not blame me.They are the ones who came into the picture.I never asked for them.

Jaz : But,is that not you saying that you allowed them to be in your Life.Coz,I figure that they knocked and you opened the door.Am I right?You could have just refused their presence.

FZ : Well,put it in a way…I am in fact just using them.

(silence)

Jaz : Has it occured to you that whilst you have this absolute misconstrued assumption that you are in control of things,and you are using them,do you think you are being used at the same time?(sexual connotations)

FZ : That is when I figure out that we will be even.

Sad.

Of course,this particular incident is more an exception rather than a rule.My personal point of view,is that it’s humiliatingly scary.To have someone equate dignity as an agenda on the etiquette of relationship dynamics,is appaling.

If it was the old me…these kinda things would have pertubed my inner senses and I would have felt obliged to try and change the women’s mentality.Nowadays…it’s just the "Now I can see why you are living in a state of being pathetic." kinda affirmation.The fact is…living your Life based on false prejudices and assumptions is already bad enough.Believing,that these false dogmas are your staple principles of Life,is abysmal.

The more someone,wants to stereotype a given situation,the more stereotypical,the person will be.Okie,maybe it is fair enough to say,that a bad relationship scarred you and kinda shaped a set of beliefs that you had always uphold.Now,it’s a subconscious vendetta…to set right that beliefs into a mode,where you will no longer feel the angst and pain.

It is almost safe to assume that sometimes,Nice Guys are left for the dead.The more a guy shows concern and willingess to share a part of the woman’s pain and joy,the harder it seems for the woman to accept him.There is this school of thoughts which claims…"You don’t get it Jazi…women do not want to feel obligated in reciprocating those nice sentiments and goodwill gestures.There will come a point of Time when,the woman will just reach that tolerant level of not being able to see herself returning the favours,and she will just walk out…"

My personal point of view?

"Bullshit.It’s just an excuse!"

You see the thing is,we always find worthy women ending up with prickheads who treat them like carpets.Wipe on it,when you are wet…dry it when you do not need it.Yet,a part of these women,whilst complaining…display a profound longing for these kinda men.The Nice Guys who had always been there,providing almost all traits required of a buddy,friend,soulmate,cushion,listening ear and just a human being is often discarded at the very first signs of intimacy.Why the standards?These Nice Guys are the exact guys who hold the flickering candle of your Life as if,their own depended on it.Give them some credit.Let them love you for once…

Here is the logic Women…

According to the Law Of Large Numbers,a woman can only perhaps,over the course of her prime life…know at most,less than 100 guys on a close,personal level.This is on a 5 guys a year,over a period of 20 year,time period of consideration.(15 years - 35 years).Out of this number…do you think,everyone would have impressed you?Maybe based on the general perceptions of guys,let’s just say only a third is capable of even impressing you.That is about 30 guys.Let’s half it.Say 15 guys who are abled enough to sweep you of your feet.Based on the 5 guys a year thingy,it will take you 3 years to know them.It means,on an average…it takes you 2 months,to divert attention to another,if the current does not do enough to impress you.Geeee…and Nice Guys being Nice Guys…they tend to be rather patient…non imposing…unconditional and just loving.And they have only 2 months to prove a bit of significance,while women hop around,like a hopeful bunny looking for sources of validations.Shit!When a Nice Guy says…"Have you thought….".The woman says…"Don’t you think you are coming too fast on me?"Geeeee…what the hell do you want?

Contradictions:

Women : "You deserve someone better."

When the guy tries to move on…

Women : "Am I not good enough?"

~laughs~

____________________________________________________________________

Women : "You think you are in love with me.How can you be so sure?"

Men : "Coz I feel it…"

Women : "How can you be sure about your feelings?"

Men :*sic*

_______________________________________________________________________

Women : "Any other girl would be so lucky to have you in their Life."

Men : "But why can’t that girl be you?"

Women : "You don’t understand."

Men : "You are damn right about that."

______________________________________________________________________

Women : "What if I cannot give you what you want?"

Men : "What if you can?"

Women : "I don’t think so."

Men : "Why not?"

Women : "Because you deserve someone better."

Men : "But,you are the best."

Women : "How can you be so sure?"

Men : "Coz,I can feel it."

Women : "Don’t say that.Somebody lucky ought to have you in their Life."

Men : "Why not you?"

Women : "Aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

_______________________________________________________________________

ps:Women are interesting creatures.They should rename the book."Men are from Mars.Women are from some goddamn planet I never even knew existed."

But it’s true…I like women too much.Lucky…I love only a woman.